Growing Up On Drugs

I’ve already mentioned that I spend way too much time on Reddit, especially when hungover. I think that’s because my poor dehydrated brains needs an endless intake of information to distract itself from the distress signals coming from the liver. Also because although there is a big amount of shit content (comes with the territory), you do find some gems now and again.

Here is one of them, posted by Bilgerman:

I have a theory that as you grow up, you go through various states of intense intoxication.

Newborns are essentially bombed out on heroin. They just lie there staring at stuff and occasionally giggling, crying, or puking on themselves.

Toddlers are on ecstasy and acid. They run around, without much purpose in mind, touching things and making noise at inappropriate moments.

Then you become a drunk. The two in the video are a pretty good representation. You stagger about, not quite sure how to use your body, you slur words into semi-coherent sentences, and you still occasionally puke and pee yourself.

Tweens are basically potheads, sometimes actual potheads. They’re philosophical, they have more to say than their words will allow, and most of their “revelations” range from simple minded to completely incorrect.

The rest of your life is spent ingesting substances to revert back to these states as you try to live as a totally unprepared and completely inept adult.

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