The Downside of Dignity

So the worst thing about not wanting to air your dirty laundry in public and smiling and saying, “It just didn’t work out” when asked is that people nod sympathetically and say things like, “Aww poor guy, he must be finding it hard still”. While you smile and make a semi-apologetic face and roll your eyes internally because they have no idea.

They don’t know about the texts you get asking you to hook up, then claiming it was just a joke (“oops wrong number haha lol”) then going demented at you and calling you a selfish cunt when you say you’re not comfortable with the jokes.

They don’t know about the bitchy comments (“not surprised you had to go have an STD test, hope it’s cleared up by now”) or the digs at your life (“what have YOU done with your life since we split up apart from get drunk”, “you’ve lost too much weight, you used to look so much better”).

They just think you’re an evil bitch from hell because all your doubts and uncertainties get paraded round a little backslapping circle of woman haters with bruised egos as proof of your bitch-from-hell status (“She wasn’t sure if she wanted to get back together? No no, she was STRINGING ME ALONG”. They’re human, you’re not) while you’re smiling and making a sad face and telling people it just wasn’t working out while thinking that everyone can just go fuck themselves. 

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